The date is 13th June 2023. It’s 2.26 am. Congratulations we’re past your bed time but I can’t remember sleeping before this my entire high school or this first year college for that matter. I guess it’s just the thoughts in my head asking me to do this so here I am, after ages trying to write something. And what’s better to tell these things to yourself. Let’s face it, we were perfect at that. Talking to one self in the silence of your own room, a soft song in the background, that John Mayer groove, that new YouTube music subscription oh man that shit hurts, every month 200 out on the first day, then the other things you pay for, from your own money. Aah you must be missing your hostel and pg days, those high hopes about the future, those sleepless nights with tears every time you used to think how much ur parents sacrificed so that you sleep well in an AC miles away in a different city altogether. Man I’m on fire from inside and I don’t know what can settle it down
I don’t know where to start, the world seems kinda lost to me right now. Now I know what you’re gonna say, “stop being such a wuss all the time Abhigyan”, that’s all we used to say after all to our past selves didn’t we?
So here’s a lil background. I woke up from a power nap of a few hours abhi. And I don’t know why I was missing my school friends. Aah I shouldn’t be doing that na , school friends, I never had friends, more like, you know people who were there jbtk you gave them something or they did not have someone more interesting in their life. I don’t like having friends. The way they used to justify, this is why I left, this is why I chose to not text you, this is why I bloody never tried to reach you after it all came down.
Btw I have “Humans” by Rag’n’bone man playing in the background right now, now there’s something you would love to come back to. Music never hurts but music never fails to make you cry either, if you’re wondering, there’s a major difference. Everyone tells me you’re emotionally dumb, you don’t understand how people think, how relationships work, to be honest ab to relationship bolne mein bhi dar lgta hai kyuki apparently it can’t just mean a bond between two or more people, it has to mean a romantic relationship, but that aside, I hope you finally are in a place jaha you don’t have to act like you’re smiling jabki from the inside even you don’t understand what you’re feeling. Everyone tells me, you’re bahut reserved, andar se bahut dukh hai kya? Kya chipana hai, bata diya karo. Yaar ab Mai khud to pehle samajh lu ki chal kya rha hai, I mean how is one supposed to understand emotions this easily. I don’t know how I would turn out later but I definitely don’t understand shit right now, about humans, about this human mind , about how to deal with either. True we were always that secluded from everything types, we never gave importance to stuff like friendship but at the same time looked at others and craved for it, we were the ones who cared about people but then somehow did something, not once or twice but every single time to mess it all up. Now I know I might have become a more arrogant version of me by your time considering the way I’ve been growing, more rude more nonchalant with every passing day.
A beautiful world, isn't it? 
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